The website FetLifeSearcher.com enables people to search the kinky social network FetLife without first logging in. The existence of this site and similar tools illustrates the enormous and unspoken security issue that unfortunately, has come up before. Running a search returns users’ FetLife profile pictures, usernames, ages, genders, kinky orientations, locations and a snippet from their profiles with the option to show more.
It’s hard to believe how many places there are now for people interested in BDSM. I remember my parents finding a copy of Skin Two when I was young and shipping me off to a psychologist. It wasn’t easy being kinky then — but now everyone is reading and recommending bondage erotica and there are even kinky bed and breakfasts and vacation destinations! Here’s a quick roundup of these places, and resources for travel with desire as a destination.
We had been talking about marriage. Would she ever get married? She sent me a photo from Brazilian designer Samuel Cirnansck’s summer 2012 show, during which models strutted his designs in various stages of restraint. With no qualms whatsoever about upending the wedding industrial complex, of which he, as a designer, is a part, he strutted in with a wicked smile and festooned his models in shibari and bit gags as easily as if these were lace and embroidered details. The show caused a sensation in the wedding industry and the imagery won’t leave us alone.
The point of planning is not to carry out that plan to the letter. The real value of this process lies in taking the time to understand where we want to go and how we’re going to get there. Asking and answering those questions is what allows us to react to the unexpected in more intelligent and productive ways.
I know this will make me sound like a mom who makes you feel guilty for missing dinner by going on and on about how long she slaved over that hot stove, but I’ll say it anyway: being a Dom is a lot of work. For starters, there’s a ton of shit to buy, and…continue reading.
