Hollywoody

Most of what 29-year-old Jonah Falcon had done up to the moment he shocked America in 1999 had been hard-earned. But the one thing that got him notoriety was something nature arbitrarily bestowed on him: an enormous penis. Despite getting a number of parts before the media got wind of his endowment, Falcon wouldn’t come to the public’s attention until he appeared in HBO’s Private Dicks: Men Exposed, a documentary about the human penis.

I saw some of the photos that Kendall Jenner posted for her 18th birthday blur past during a cursory glance of Instagram last night and my first thought was “oh, God, here comes the avalanche.” Sure enough, this morning, the celebrity gossip site TMZ is reporting that at least six adult companies have pinged this young member of the Kardashian clan with offers. Of course, Jenner isn’t the only one to get pinged by porn studios this year. Can you guess who? Bet Paula Deen isn’t the first person who comes to mind.

Last week Funny or Die released Alyssa Milano’s purported sex tape. The “tape” shows Milano about to get it on but just as she positions the camera to film, her “partner” comes up behind her, grabs her, and the camera is kicked off position, focusing on a televised discussion on Syria instead. Milano’s statement is clear: people care more about celebrity gossip than what’s happening in the world, and the only way to reach them is to make sex the Trojan horse. But sex isn’t always just a Trojan horse.

The story here isn’t a cautionary tale about the dangers of sexual appetites. Nanula isn’t a bad guy because he likes sex or wants to sleep with a lot of women, some of whom are sex workers. Nanula is a bad guy because he knew that some of these women wouldn’t consent to a specific sort of act with him so he deceived them. It doesn’t matter if you don’t think there is a difference between porn and prostitution. At least two of the women involved do see a difference. They ended up doing something they didn’t want to do. Richard Nanula lied to them. That’s why he’s a bad guy.

The gold stylized dicks are part of a series called “Grow A Pear,” based on Ke$ha’s song of the same name, which is far more problematic, in my opinion, than a girl wearing cocks in her ears. “Grow A Pear” is the story of a girl who falls in love with a boy and then dumps him because he wants to talk instead of having sex and is vocal about his emotions. “I signed up for a man, but you are just a bitch,” Ke$ha sings.

Octomon Nadya Suleman still has not had much luck securing economic stability for herself or her children. In a last-ditch attempt to avoid getting evicted from her home, which was foreclosed in June but received no bids at auction, the mother of 14 has done everything from stripping to porn. Now, looking to raise $150,000 to buy a new home, she’s taking a step closer to the less legal side of the adult industry by offering herself up on the pay-for-dates site WhatsYourPrice.com.

The body of her relationship with long-time boyfriend Mark Griffiths wasn’t even cold when rumors started to circulate that actress Gillian Anderson was dating her former X Files co-star David Duchovny. According to gossip site Celebrity Dirty Laundry, Scully and Mulder have been shacking up in his L.A. home.

Gillian Anderson, famous for her role as Dana Scully the skeptic, science-minded FBI conspiracy investigator on the hit television series, has come out as bi. This is no ploy to get some media attention — according to Out magazine, Anderson started dating girls when she was in high school.

Last month, Mad Men’s Jon Hamm graced the cover of Details, which hurried to title their interview with the actor “The Last Alpha Male.” The piece detailed Hamm’s slow, but solid rise to the public eye, liberally peppered with descriptions of his life, toys and views on the entertainment industry.

Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian did a pictorial for Elle inspired by the film The Graduate. FOX News’ Bill O’Reilly questioned guests about whether this was appropriate, saying he wasn’t into women at 16, just wanted to be a baseball player, then pointed out that if the genders were reversed this would have upset a lot of people. We agree.