What Do Bacon, Pizza Deliveries and Bill Gates’ Money Have In Common? Condoms.

Apr 25, 2013 • Health, Lifestyle •

condoms

Bill Gates just isn’t satisfied with the progress that’s been made in the condom department. By way of the Grand Challenges in Global Health Program, the Gates Foundation is offering $100,000 to anyone who can come up with a more satisfying way to glove the love. Per the Grand Challenges site:

Male condoms are cheap, easy to manufacture, easy to distribute, and available globally, including in resource poor settings, through numerous well developed distribution channels. […] When used properly, they reliably protect females from pregnancy and both partners from numerous STIs, including HIV transmission, making them a prime example of a multi-purpose prevention technology (MPT). Their use does not require a prescription, a skilled health provider or in fact any healthcare provider or healthcare delivery system. […] The primary drawback from the male perspective is that condoms decrease pleasure as compared to no condom, creating a trade-off that many men find unacceptable, particularly given that the decisions about use must be made just prior to intercourse.

[…] We are looking for a Next Generation Condom that significantly preserves or enhances pleasure, in order to improve uptake and regular use. Additional concepts that might increase uptake include attributes that increase ease-of-use for male and female condoms, for example better packaging or designs that are easier to properly apply. In addition, attributes that address and overcome cultural barriers are also desired. Proposals must (i) have a testable hypothesis, (ii) include an associated plan for how the idea would be tested or validated, and (iii) yield interpretable and unambiguous data in Phase I, in order to be considered for Phase II funding.

The deadline is May 7, 10:30AM Pacific. Got ideas? Get to it!

In other condom news, Durex has released a service to help Dubai with its hookups. Now, much as we order pizza, the citizens of Dubai can have condoms delivered to them no matter where the night has taken them. SOS Condoms (sadly only available on iOS) enables users to pinpoint their location, select the condoms they want (from the Durex line, of course), select a payment option, and bam! Condoms are delivered. This is a discreet service, of course. The delivery guy isn’t going to walk up with a huge Durex logo on his shirt. He’ll be in disguise. Possibly as a pizza delivery guy. Durex is currently accepting votes for the next city to get the service.

And last, but not least, from the makers of bacon-flavored lube, come bacon condoms. You think this is a delayed April Fool’s joke? Think again. Justin Esch, co-founder of J&D’s, told the International Business Times that while, yes, the idea started out as a joke, this is for real. They’ve sold out on J&D’s site, but look for them in select stores in the U.S. this June. Wrap your meat in serious meat, boys, and prepare yourself for the ultimate porking.

Header photo by Robert Elyov.

  • KimberlyChapman

    When I was a kid and read about “rubbers” in Stephen King’s “Carrie” I asked my mother what that meant. I got a no-nonsense definition of it being a thing a man puts on his penis so sperm won’t get into the lady and get her pregnant.

    And for years after I thought it was a plug in the tip and I was utterly, utterly terrified that if one was ever used in me it’d shoot out and get stuck in me.

    Which goes to show that you can educate your kid openly and properly about sex and they can still end up messed up about it.

    • avflox

      I vaguely recall an older cousin trying to explain sex to me and my sister when we were kids. She had read about fluids involved, but lacking any actual knowledge, she could only summarize what she knew, and since the only fluid she’d ever seen around the genitals was urine, that’s what we got. I tried to explain this couldn’t be the right system, but my little sister became terrified of using the toilet right before or after a boy, as it may lead to the accidental creation of a toilet baby.

      Sigh.

      • KimberlyChapman

        I knew kids at the summer camp where I worked who wouldn’t use a toilet in the girls’ bathroom without wrapping it with toilet paper. This would invariably clog the narrow pipes. Many girls insisted their mothers had taught them to do this. One in particular told me in all earnest, “My mom said sometimes boys go into girls’ bathrooms and do BAD THINGS and then if you sit on the toilet where they’ve been you’ll get pregnant or AIDS.”

        There’s no fixing a child’s outlook when they’ve got a parent screwing them up that bad. :(