Walk In Shame No More

It’s Monday morning, 6:00AM. Traffic is going to be killer, and you know it, you think as the elevator doors open and you step in to be greeted by the condescending looks of a jogger and an older man with two shih-poos on matching leashes.

Yes, you’re still wearing the dress you were wearing the night before, which still smells like cigarette smoke and gin-doused sex. Awesome.

Good morning to you, too.

This is the walk of shame. You think you’d learned something in college. Don’t worry, that why we’re here. Introducing the Walk of Shame Kit: “everything you’ll need to walk home with your head held high.”

For $34.99, you get a one-size-fits-most dress, a pair of one-size-fits-all flip flops, a backpack, a pair of shades, a pre-pasted toothbrush, all-over wipes, and a really hilarious call me/don’t call me card you can leave behind–after writing in your name and number, or not.

The Los Angeles staple of hit and run sex just got that much easier.

Of course, if we had it our way, the kit would include a packet of Advil, a half-pack of cigs, and money for a cab, but, hey, it’s a start.