Author Archive: Alex Tresor

Soldiers is a really appropriate nickname for sperm. Most people don’t know there are many different kinds of sperm that all work together to make sure you’re the father of that little kid no matter what you claim on the next Jerry Springer show. So far, we’ve identified four different kinds of sperm.

There are about 200-500 million sperm in your average ejaculation. Forget bragging about having a 10-inch penis, I wanna see your sperm count card! That’s the test of a true man! Sperm make up about 5 percent of the total semen amount. Looking back, we’re starting to pile on the proteins (enzymes, albumin, sperm). Proteins in general can be irritating. I’m starting to suspect the generally high protein amount is the possible culprit for the batter burn.

You’ve met the man of your dreams (or, at least, tonight’s dreams). You decide to practice the age-old tradition of going down — and we’re not talking about a trip to Venice… that’s just unthinkable. Everything’s going great, he’s ready to explode, and then — @#$%! Who just lit my eyes on fire?!