Facebook Is Trying to Fuck Up Your Hookups

In an effort to make itself feel better because no one uses their Facebook e-mail addresses (what? Facebook has e-mail addresses?), the social network decided yesterday to change everyone’s profiles to list only their Facebook e-mail addresses.

All the time you spent painstakingly creating lists so you could customize who saw which address (suitors to priority inbox, exes to that old address you check only when you’re single, bored and horny…), all of it wasted like the minutes you devoted to trying to figure out what that God-awful book Fifty Shades of Gray was all about. Wasted. Your effort, crushed like a can of cheap beer. The cheap beer you will be drinking alone, since you never check your Facebook e-mail.

This will not stand. The nerve! No, think about it — it’s not just you. Facebook did this to 900 million people without asking or even saying a goddamn thing. Facebook, once again, has proven it doesn’t give a shit. It just takes what it wants. (Also, it eats larva).

Why did they do this? Per their statement to Reuters:

As we announced back in April, we’ve been updating addresses on Facebook to make them consistent across our site. In addition to everyone receiving an address, we’re also rolling out a new setting that gives people the choice to decide which addresses they want to show on their timelines.

Right. Because how we had our settings before wasn’t our choice?

HOW DO YOU FIX THIS?

Go to your info page by clicking on “About” right under your name and stats on your profile.

Find the “Contact Info” section in your “About” page and click on the upper right hand corner, where it says “Edit.”

You will find that your former e-mail addresses have all been hidden (they show up with a crossed out circle beside them, whereas your Facebook address shows up with an open circle). Switch that back around. Make sure you specify who gets to see which address as you do so. It’s good to check who can see what from time to time and make whatever changes you need to anyway.

This might be a good time to check out our page on Google+. We’re having fun over there.