The Fair Vow Breaker

Jan 27, 2010 • Darla, Diary

Before there was sex, there was history, and in this history there is a man by the name of Gerald. 

Gerald is middle aged and has a family. He believes in the scientific method, conservative politics, philosophical pursuit and all things adventurous.  Adventure was hard to come by once he became a husband and father. His days had become inseparable from the plot to the film Groundhog Day. Nothing was fresh or worth savoring. His idle mind left him wandering one particular evening in the depths of the web, via Google.

Gerald was curious about criminal psychology in the beginning of August 2007. His search revealed a particular criminal psychologist blogger who cited a link to an obscure and abandoned blog I had created in years past. The blog featured my e-mail address, and Gerald was captivated by the person I had introduced. Luckily for Gerald, I actually read the subject lines of items in my junk mail folder, and his subject line set him apart from the scammers and spammers: “Beauty,” it said simply. Who knew that a single ego-feeding word would draw me in and risk the health of my computer?

His missive read:

“Anything in any way beautiful derives its beauty from itself and asks nothing beyond itself. Praise is no part of it, for nothing is made worse or better by praise.” — Marcus Aurelius

Most of us know that spam is usually sub-human advertising, a bank account scam, phishing or random drivel. This was random, but far from drivel. I decided the email was worthy enough to respond to since most strangers don’t email me quotes about beauty from Roman emperor philosophers. My response was a slight twist to the emperor’s words, but sage enough to bait the hook and catch us a conversation worth having for over three years.

With any intimate conversation, people will stay engaged if you’re still interested, and especially if you’re interesting. I would describe myself as interesting, perhaps even borderline strange. I like to push limits and see how far I will go in any situation presented. You could say I was also interested in all things adventurous. 

That’s how it started. Innocently — or, well, as innocently as missives begging for adventure can be.

Neither he nor I had any idea just how far — and how deep — we would end up going.

If you met her in person, you would never guess the kind-faced psychologist and devoted fiancée was living such an intense double life. But she is — and she’s here to tell us some of the hot stories and logistics involved with conducting a successful illicit affair. Learn these lessons and you too will be able to join the select elite who can lead as many lives as their greedy hearts desire. Image in this post is property of A.V. Flox.