The Porn Library for iPad Has Arrived, Whether Steve Jobs Likes It or Not

You can try to take porn out of the technology, but you can’t take technological pioneers out of the porn industry. Somehow they will always find a way to get around you. The industry is used to barriers. They’ve been getting around them since the first dirty books were banned.

Though Apple’s Steve Jobs has been very vocal about the importance of Apple devices being free of pornography, going as far as to tell users to switch to Android if they have a problem with the liberty he has taken in making himself their parent — an ironic turn considering the Apple 1984 commercial of old. Junior Anti-Sex League, anyone? — there’s nothing he can do about this.

Face it, the porn industry has been at the forefront of technology for ages, using it to proliferate and propel itself into society the way any good parasite would. And like a good parasite, porn has a way of changing to get around any new defenses on the part of the host.

Enter the Fleshdrive, a four ($39.95), eight ($69.95) and 16 gigabyte ($119.95) USB drive to store your entire porn library comfortably in your pocket. Don’t have a porn library? The Fleshdrive comes with the porn, natch!

Previously compatible with Mac, PC, Xbox, Playstation and media players with USB ports, now also allows you to enjoy your porn without any web-browsing right on your iPad, with no risk of viruses or a pesky trail on the device browsing history.

All you need is the iPad Camera Connection Kit ($29). Plug the Fleshdrive into it and voila — you can convert and download the files into your iPad to watch your porn whenever you like, no internet connection necessary. Which basically means no buffering, spyware, pop ups, spam — just you and hours of glorious fucking.

Try to pwn that, Steve.