To Sir With Love

My boyfriend/owner (S) and I recently separated and I found myself unowned and uncollared. An old lover showed up soon after for lots of sex, but I still missed S’s loving torture.

And then Sir M entered my life.

A self-described “hedonistic sadist,” Sir M is a highly regarded VIP in the local BDSM scene. He looks for “play partners” (for BDSM play) and has trained many people like me to be submissives or slaves. We traded several e-mails and a friend in the scene gave him a great referral so I felt more comfortable. We agreed to meet and discuss. I’m rather new to this so I had no idea what to expect.

I Met Sir at a family restaurant right off the 405

He sent me precise instructions of where and when to meet him. Finally–a man who can make decisions for me! I love that. I hopped on the 405 to rendezvous at a nondescript family restaurant.

He had instructed me to sit on the bench and wait. This positioned me facing the restaurant, with my back to the parking lot so I couldn’t see who was approaching me. I arrived first, terrified of what punishment I might suffer if I was late. Sir M was coming on the 405 from the opposite direction, and got caught in some traffic. I waited nervously, texting friends and family with double entendre greetings like “sorry I couldn’t call yesterday–I got tied up!” Suddenly I realized He was behind me, trying to read my texts over my shoulder.

We had a “getting to know you” discussion, and then he let me know what I’d be in for if I chose to train with him to be a submissive. The idea is that he would train me and help me look for a new “master,” at which time the new guy would take over. In the meantime I’d be under Sir M’s “protection” and any guy in the scene would have to approach me through him. Also since he pretty much knows everyone, if I see someone I’m interested in, I could ask him to approach the guy. It sounded like an old-fashioned and highly ritualized kinky method of courtship.

Sir M has three basic rules for me

Sir M explained his basic rules of protocol:

1. When addressing him always begin or end each sentence with “Sir.”
2. Always walk 1-2 steps behind him on his left side. I become his left hand, opening doors for him, holding things, etc.

Then he looked me straight in the eye and told me his third rule:

3. NEVER look him in the eye. Look down at his shoulder level.

I immediately snapped my gaze down from his. Talking to someone’s shoulder is a challenge when you’ve been making eye contact all your life. But in being forced to speak that way my character immediately changed–my voice got quieter, my speech less assertive. It did help put me in the submissive mindset.

The hardest thing was to keep from giggling when inserting “Sir” into every sentence. Jumping into this role-playing while at a family restaurant at lunchtime made me feel like a delusional gamer confusing World of Warcraft with real life.

“YOU THINK THAT’S FUNNY?,” he barked when I stifled my giggles into my hand and turned away.

He got up and grabbed my chin, smacked my cheek, and repeated, “YOU THINK THAT’S FUNNY?”

Stunned, I mumbled, “No Sir,” with my eyes fixed on the table. He walked off to the restroom.

My cheek stung and heart pounded. I got my first taste of how it would be in training with Sir M.

Daisy TraLaLA (@DaisyTraLaLA) is a saucy Angelino kinkster who glides with ease between the worlds of tech, art, cuisine, electronica and dungeon parties. Check back every Tuesday for posts from her journey to the most divine surrender.