You Fuck The Way You Date

Mar 15, 2010 • Opinion

Our editrix has a sex and relationships column on BlogHer, not that you should know, because usually it’s more relationships than it is sex, but we thought this week’s offering would amuse you. Her theory is that a woman can tell everything she needs to know about how a man fucks by how he dates. An excerpt:

In her autobiography Sinner Takes All, porn star Tera Patrick talks about her horrible relationship with Erik Schrody, the lead singer of Everlast. Their first date would spell out the modus operandi of their entire two-year relationship:

Our first date was a movie date at his house. Ladies, don’t ever let a guy take you to a date at his house: (a) It’s cheap, (b) It shows disrespect (What? He didn’t want to be seen with me in public?), (c) It usually means all he wants from you is sex, and (d) It’s just plain lame. We deserve dinners and romance, don’t we?

I should have known how lame Erik would end up being by that very first date … and unbeknownst to me at that time, we started a pattern that would be the basis of our relationship: I come to his house. We sit on his couch. We watch TV. We have sex. I go home, utterly unsatisfied.

For two years, I would follow that pattern. The sex was never mindblowing. You can tell if sex is going to be good by how much effort a guy puts into you when you’re not under the sheets. Erik put zero effort into dating me, taking me out, or making me feel special or beautiful, and that selfishness extended into the bedroom.

While I don’t agree with Patrick that a house date is entirely out of the question (imagine how sexy it can be with some degree of effort: a home-cooked meal, a tour of the art and antiques he has collected over the years, a soundtrack and lighting he can control for mood and an open bar that never closes), I do agree that the way you date says everything about you.

You can read the whole thing here and comment there. Or you can just tell us what you think here.