Consumerist culture has packaged and sold so many things, we often lose touch with our creativity. If someone told you to plan out an evening of kink, then handed you a twenty and dropped you off at a sex shop, you’d be lucky if you left with some warming lube. In this economy, however, we can’t often afford to splurge on the wondrous accouterments of pleasure. So on a recent trip to CVS, we got creative. One kinky night for less than twenty bucks, coming right up.

You were into it. You like being told what to do, being restrained and made to beg. You didn’t mind the gag or the ropes. You didn’t even mind the duct tape even though it was a little tight. At least, you didn’t mind it until it was time to go back home and you noticed duct tape doesn’t just pull off.

While there is no substitute for being able to speak with empathy and warmth, there are ways to tackle the little things in a manner that invites laughter and fun. This gift guide is all about taking the menial, day-to-day stuff of a relationship and learning to poke fun at yourself and each other.

Cheating isn’t a noble thing. But if you have to do it, you’re going to do it right. That’s where we come in.

Maybe you have no balls and can’t really offer a statement less vague than “this isn’t working.” Maybe you have and she just refuses to honor the breakup. Whatever the case (and yes, we’re totally judging you, as failure to disengage is a far more heinous crime than failure to engage), it’s time to call on your super douchebag powers. ​We have just the weapon for the task.

The one-handed bra-unhooking move — it’s a classic. We’ll probably never admit it to a man’s face, but when he reaches back there and unclasps our bras like it’s no big thing, we immediately endow him with epic brownie points. As to the ones who try and fail… we’d never admit this to their faces, either, but that’s nearly grounds for dismissal. What to do if you haven’t mastered this move?

Our editrix likes introductory e-mails from people she doesn’t know. At the risk of a whipping, we’re going to refrain from calling this practice slightly passé and suggest, instead, that if the usual method of requesting a friendship without comment fails to result in a connection, consider sending a short message explaining who you are and why you want to connect with the person in question.

Pornography isn’t the problem, it’s a conduit. Through pornography, you are faced with desires with which one may not be comfortable, hence the response when the men in the article encounter women who enjoy these things and express them with them.

We have all the advice on sexting nudes that you’ll ever need. It might seem like a lot of work, but the recipient will never forget it. Besides, you never know if those pics are going to end up in the wrong hands. Wouldn’t you rather they were something to be proud of?

There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to online dating, except probably this: if you go to a party, don’t leave your phone unattended, especially if you’re in the middle of getting to know someone via a dating site that has a very easy to use app.