The next day I ran through the details of the encounter and my cheeks flushed. It was super sexy and fun, but I was left with a disturbing discovery — the “toppy” side of my sexuality. Had I let it loose, I was afraid I would have been the most brutal, perverted top, and that it would sabotage my submission to Sir M. I am not a switch!

It took about two weeks for me to accept my identity as a sex worker. When I first interviewed and even when I arrived on my first day, I considered it like any serious job. In my mind, I emphasized the professional in professional dominatrix.

Your friendly neighborhood domme has not hung up her paddle. I am still dominating businessmen with excessive disposable income. No, my story this week is set in the BDSM scene, a comedy of errors in which I walked haphazardly and blindly into a minefield of social mores.

I need a lot of sex. In fact, I’m nearly insatiable. When I don’t get enough cock I think about it incessantly. This is why, my master has tasked me with finding a stud.

What? Did you expect me to talk about virginity? Or how about my wedding day? I could talk about both. I lost my virginity on the first date with my first love. My wedding day never came because my fiancé of seven years left me last year. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, on to the good stuff…

When I told G I wouldn’t be out that Saturday night with Sir M and her to play at the dungeon party she was sincerely sad. “I like it when you’re there to share the pain with me,” she said.

Last week’s story ended in a precarious place, with me stumbling over my own ego, trying to control the situation, and enraging Sir M. I punished myself and Sir M punished me further by threatening to release me.

I’m in service to a Dom who is an edge player –- meaning he likes the more dangerous BDSM activities. He loves to scratch a deadly sharp blade across my body that could slice me open with one false move. He chokes me and alters my breathing. Sometimes he sets me aflame. In other words: he likes extremes.

When I was out of tow, Sir M. started playing with a new partner, a beautiful fetish model named G. He began formally training her four weeks ago. I found out on the social networking website we use.

Before you have kids, you take sex for granted. The ability to drop what you’re doing in the evening, strip each other’s clothes off and go at it on the living room floor. Waking up in the morning, cuddling in bed for hours, making love off and on throughout the morning, no worries about getting up, showering, getting the kids fed…