So You Wanna Pay for Pussy? Step 1: Where to Find It

I don’t know for sure how you got to this point, and I’m not here to judge. You have your reasons. Maybe your wife stopped having sex with you, or you just need variety or your dad never took you fishing. I don’t know and I don’t care. I don’t know you. I’m not your wife, your shrink, I’m not Jiminy fuckin’ Cricket.

What do I care if you wanna fuck hookers? You have your reasons, that’s good enough for me.

This isn’t about the “why”, this is about the “how.”

The relentless craving for pussy is keeping you up at night. And awake, too. But you haven’t abdicated all the decision making to your little head, you still have a shred of sense left in your big head, and something in what you call your conscience tells you that there’s danger ahead. So you don’t know where to begin the hunt for paid poon.

If you’re like most guys you’ve found yourself driving through the seedier parts of town, wondering if that girl in the mini skirt at the bus stop is a hooker or not. (Pro tip: are you in the Valley? Then chances are, yes, she is.) But you know better than to proposition some random girl on the street. Don’t you?

The first place almost every neophyte john starts is Craigslist. You’ve read all the sordid news stories about how it’s the new gathering place for virtual hookups and sex-for-hire. But you’ve also read the sensationalistic news stories about yet another Craigslist prostitution ring broken up by intrepid detectives. And the last thing you need is to get caught your first time out. So here’s some tips to get you started and hopefully keep you safe.

Sure, by all means, check out Craigslist. Check out Backpage.com. They both have adult services sections with escort ads, and have local editions for pretty much everywhere. But know that they are the low end of the spectrum when it comes to escorts. Baby steps. We’ll work you up to the high-dollar hotties soon enough, but you have to learn to walk before you can run. You’re more likely to come up against a bait & switch scam using those services than others. That means that the hot chick in the picture isn’t necessarily the same girl that’s gonna answer the door. You have to learn to do some homework.

If you’re cruising Craigslist or Backpage, you supposedly know enough about the Internet to do a basic Google search. When you find a girl you like, the first thing you need to do is Google her phone number. If she’s who she says she is, the search will come back with her other ads on other sites. Check those out as well, they may lead you in another direction. They’ll clue you in to whether or not this is really a hooker or a vice cop setting up a sting operation. There are also review sites like The Erotic Review and Escorts.com which will give you a glimpse into what you might expect if you book time with this girl.

You’re gonna be worried about getting ripped off, arrested or worse. So take precautions before you head out. Chances are, the cops aren’t interested in you, particularly if you’re doing your cruising online rather than on the Boulevard. Legit girls will usually have reviews. Not every escort has reviews, however, and there are perfectly good reasons why not. So don’t panic if you don’t find reviews. Some well-established escorts don’t allow clients to write reviews. But they will have web sites.

There are sites like The Erotic Review or Escorts.com, where those stalwart whore-mongering explorers who came before you have paved the trail for you. My advice to you (which you won’t listen to) is to read those sites, but don’t register, become a paying member or get involved in the discussion forums.

Be prepared to be hung up on if you use any inappropriate language. This includes any mention of any sex act. Don’t be stupid. Don’t call up some random girl and ask if you can come over to fuck her. And you’re not going to be clever and bypass that restriction by using coded language like “GFE” or referring to roses or kisses or candy instead of dollars. Everybody knows why you’re calling, no one needs it spelled out. Be respectful when you call. Be respectful when you show up. And for fuck’s sake, wash your balls before you go.

So, now you’ve narrowed it down, you’ve found a girl you like and you’re ready to take the plunge dick-first into a rented pussy. In Part Two, I’ll walk you through the “how much” part of the “how to.”

Go to Part Two.

Hooker Addict (@hookeraddict) has wasted much of the last few years wading through the local escort/hobbyist message boards. From finding a hooker to making the date, not getting ripped off or worse; this is about paying for sex. With actual cash. A few years ago, he became fascinated with streeetwalkers, but now the game has changed. Moved indoors, online. He’s just Some Guy, with no skills and no game. And he still gets more pussy than you.