To Be Loved, You Must Love Yourself First? Not Necessarily

“Remember the story of the princess and the frog?” asks psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. “We can all turn into something charming when we let ourselves be loved.”

His piece on Psychology Today’s Emotional Fitness blog is worth noting for all of you starting anew this year:

There is a psychological myth going around that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you. The real truth is that many people learn to love themselves by first being loved by another.

If you never had a loving family, it’s more difficult to build healthy self-esteem. Appropriate affection from another person may be the magic touch you need to actually believe that you are loveable. When someone you admire gives his or her heart to you; it makes you feel cherished and in turn you learn to love yourself.

I know a number of people who were only able to develop self-love after someone who made them feel worthwhile came into their lives. For many, this love blossomed into a healthy and life long relationship. For others, it was an experience that put them on a path to finding their true purpose in life.

In many support groups one of the things that helps a person to recover is that the group loves the individual until he or she can love themselves. This is also one of the ways in which therapy helps individuals to heal from depression, loss and addiction.

Information from Psychology Today.