Because We Always Need An Excuse

Oct 22, 2010 • Health, News, Research

Excuses, excuses

Remember when Dan Rather interviewed Bill Clinton in 2004 about his life and presidency for 60 Minutes? It almost perfectly summarizes everything that’s wrong with us as a species.

“The central question, if I may, and I know this is difficult,” probed Rather, breaching the issue of Monica Lewinsky. “The central question is: why?”

“I think I did something for the worst possible reason,” responded Clinton. “Just because I could. I think that’s the most — just about the most morally indefensible reason that anybody could have for doing anything.”

Having a reason doesn’t make it better. The moral question is about the action, not the reasoning. Nevertheless, the idea that we need reasons to do things continues to be cultivated in the American mind. Slowly, we move toward efficient, streamlined living, demanding that everything we do have A Reason.

As a result, we do not play or allow our desires real expression. We organize “networking events” where we get belligerently drunk because we “don’t have time” to have drinks with friends. We attend conferences where we fuck everyone in sight — usually drunkenly and badly — because we have no reason to date these people. We dress like super whores, but only on Halloween, because we don’t have a reason to express ourselves at any other time.

And we get really excited when we see articles like this one from CNN Dr. Gupta and this one about research by Dr. David McKenzie and Sue McGarvie that spell out reasons you should have sex once a week.

Researchers at Wilkes University found that sex releases an antibody that protects against colds and infections! Plus the flood of endorphins and corticosteroids that accompanies a orgasm offers pain relief!

But there is more! Research by biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D,. suggests a correlation between regular sex and success at work, possibly because sex can increase confidence and increase self-esteem! As Steve Jobs would say: AMAZZZZZING!

And if that’s not enough, prostaglandins in semen help reduce wrinkles and delay skin aging. But wait! There’s more! Orgasms release testosterone which is linked to helping build stronger bones, too! Wow!

And did we mention that the oxytocin released during sex helps you sleep better after you’re done boinking? That’s right! And as we all know, unless you’re Eliot Spitzer, sex is cheaper than a Tempurpedic, people! Look at all the reasons to have sex!

You want our advice? Quit looking for reasons. Give yourself one day every week — or even one hour every week — where you do something you don’t have to for no reason other than that it feels good. Because, really, if you need to be convinced to have sex, our species are pretty much doomed.