My friend has been talking about this girl for months. After a while of being unable to express any emotion for anyone, it seems he’s finally found his heart. The problem? I know this girl. She’s a well-known man-eater. She went out with another friend of mine for a while, totally used him, and left him high, dry and utterly devastated. I can’t tell my friend about this other relationship because it’s supposed to be a secret and I know people in the throes of infatuation don’t really listen anyway… so what do I do?
Here’s the thing–when it comes to people, you really don’t know what’s going to happen. No matter how close we are to someone in a relationship, we don’t really know the inner workings of their union or the reasons why it didn’t work out. It’s possible you don’t have all the details, or that she’s changed, or that this man she’s dating now will revolutionize her world just as she has his. The only thing you can really do in this situation is wait and see what happens.
You might be unable to tell him about the past entanglements–either because you’ve been sworn to secrecy or because they’re hearsay and you don’t have all the information–but you can still point out things that may go down between them that you’re not in agreement with. Be there for your friend, but remember that you’re a friend and not a parent. We will all make mistakes–we have to. That’s how we learn. Stand by him and guide him to the best of your ability should issues come up between them.
That is all you can do.