My New Pink Button is a product made to bring that pretty prink color back to your lips–and when I say lips, I mean your labia.
“My New Pink Button is a Cosmetic Dye especially for the woman’s genital area, to help restore that healthy vibrant Rosy color,” the site promises. “Until now there has never been a solution for restoring natural pigment. This is a concern with many women and more than you can even imagine, and a frequent question that Physicians are asked. Check out the blogs on the Internet. You are not alone! This is a common problem and we now have a simple and safe solution, restoring sexual confidence to Women everywhere!”
Now, actually, if you want to get a youthful feeling coursing through your labia, you would be better advised to, yes, go dancing, but instead of bringing My New Pink Button “Bettie” with you, find a Betty to come home with you. A Betty (or okay, if you must, a Bobby) who appreciates the glorious, diverse rainbow of natural labia colors fresh out of the box.
That will put you in the pink. Or rouge, or purple, or honey, or caramel, or the sienna shade of the edges of a closing Iris …
Better yet, just as you don’t need the dye, you don’t need anyone else to tell you your labia look mahvelous. What if it they just are mahvelous?
Because truthfully, I’m not in the market for labia dye. I’m not bragging when I say that my personal parts are a gorgeous labia shade as is — because I’m certain so are yours.
Many people are blowing off My New Pink Button as an unnecessary, comical product that’s white elephant-gift worthy.
In all, My New Pink Button makes me want to go all ninja labia avenger and throw mirror parties and finally rename The Vagina Monologues The Labia Monologues and stage actions where women jump on stages and proclaim “Bing cherry in da house!” or “Little Barbie Dream Corvette, baby!” or “This latte was made with a dash of cinnamon!” or “If you want me to change colors, put some lipstick where your mouth is, mister, and let’s get going!”
Deb’s not the only one, so we here at Sex and the 405 have decided to declare today Labia Appreciation Day. Come all ye women and love yourselves, or if you love women, go pay the proper tribute to your beloved’s labia!