She screws! She Talks! SHE HAS AN OFF SWITCH!

Feb 01, 2010 • geek, News, Technology, Toys

Before we begin, we want to take a second to instantaneously orgasm at the realization that we are thisclose to living in a postcyberpunk universe, OMG. The cyborgs are so close, the Sex and the 405 newsroom can almost taste them! Nom nom nom! /geekery

But let’s explore the robots that are actually among us, shall we?

Meet Roxxxy, a 5-foot-7-inches TrueCompanion that outweighs our editrix at 120 pounds. Her skin is soft, her orifices are willing and! She will talk to you about anything that interests you. For as long as you like. Without rolling her eyes!

(Our editrix should send one to her ex-husband.)

A TrucCompanion is a talking sex robot. Priced at $7,000, Roxxxy is the brainchild of Douglas Hines, a mad scientist who thought to slap silicone skin on a computer with voice-recognition and speech-synthesis software, and five pre-programmed personalities ranging from Frigid Farrah to Wild Wendy — take your pick!

A motor in her chest pumps heated air through a tube that winds through Roxxxy’s body, which keeps her warm to the touch. She also has sensors in her hands and genital areas that elicit vocal responses from her when she’s touched. She even shudders to simulate orgasm (like most women you know! Just kissing, sorry).

Her battery-life is only three hours, but then, that’s more than our iPhones, so we’re not going to complain too much.

“There’s a tremendous need for this kind of product,” said Hines, who’s really a computer scientist and former Bell Labs engineer, and happily married in Licoln Park, New Jersey.

This version of the bot cannot move on its own, though it can be contorted into many positions. We’re looking forward to advances in the technology that will allow for Roxxxy to get up and make dinner, give us a back massage, then go service our boyfriends and husbands so we can deal with our deadlines.

And once they figure out all the bugs, we expect her male counterpart, a sexy man-thing to change lightbulbs, play with our hair for hours on end and, of course, do us 24/7 — between deadlines, of course.

It’s not cheating if it doesn’t have a pulse, right?

Ew, that’s gross. Sorry. YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN.

Image from TrueCompanion. Information from CNN, via Denise Tanton.

  • Mike Masters

    sign me up AV!

    • Anaiis

      LOL! :)

  • Robert

    …and sexbots are now the first androids. We have finally crossed the threshold every cyberpunk author knew we would. And just in time to prove this article right:

    BTW, Jude Law as sexbot. You’re welcome. (jump to 2:30 in)

  • Robert

    BTW, does anyone else find the product name “TrueCompanion” just a bit too “1984”ish for anyone’s good?

    • Anaiis

      HAHAHAHAHA, Robert. I adore you.

  • Bruce N. Stein

    I heard about this a while ago, and while I applaud the creator I give it a big ho-hum. Not because I don’t think he’s engaging in the most noble of endeavors, but because it’s… it’s just not going to be right for a while.

    Remember how awesome Ghostbusters looked? Yeah, now think of “Avatar”. That’s the gap these things have to cross. And even then there’s a way to go. I hope to god enough people buy this thing to make it worthwhile, thus attracting more investors.

    The adult industry is actually one of the major pushers of new technology. DVD didn’t really take off until adult films started being released on it. Just goes to show that the world’s oldest profession and the world’s newest technology go hand in hand. Or… erm… in… yeah.

    • Anaiis

      I wholeheartedly agree with you, Bruce. The adult industry is the ultimate pioneer. We are propelled by our drives through and through.

  • Jae

    Wow! I’m impressed, actually!