Shag Outside The Box

Nov 04, 2009 • Homework

“A place can influence a couples’ pleasure quotient,” says Dr. Shivi Jaggi, a sex counselor. “Any place outside the stereotypical bedroom will help couples keep alive their sexual fire. The reason why they find hotel rooms more appealing than their bedrooms is because it’s a new pleasure playground that takes their mind away from mundane domesticity and adds a zing of excitement.”

kissAnyone who read that would think, oh, I don’t know, the boardroom at your office, a bathroom stall in a bar, a changing room at a boutique, a truck stop off a highway on the way to someplace else…

Not the Times of India. Their choice locations for escaping the sex doldrums are: the garage (careful not to hit the horn!), the attic (watch your head!), the basement (remember the echo magnifies moans!), the storage room (careful with the dust!), the balcony (remember your kids!), and the rooftop (watch for nosy neighbors!).

The balcony idea was not bad–though I have to say that the suggestion that a couple lock up the kids in their rooms so they don’t interrupt will probably not fly very well in the United States. But we Americans are weird like that. We’re always worrying about The Children–I think it’s amazing we have sex at all with all the worrying we do.

I’m into the rooftop, too. I like the rush of heights, though, so I’d probably skip the flowers and go right to the edge. If I wrote a similar list, my warnings–if I were to include them, which is kind of a downer, but I guess that’s the responsible thing–would probably say stuff like “injury/death/arrest may result.” This being the U.S., I’d probably have to have some kind of a legal statement, too, to avoid liability.

OK, I don’t know about you, but that totally killed my mojo.

One thing I will say–I’m jealous of anyone who can dig up Kama Sutra paintings from their storage rooms–hell, I’m jealous of anyone who has storage space in their house. Obviously, I’ve got to go to India.

What’s the one place you’ve done the deed that you’ll never forget?

Image by Brainbitch.